End of an era

 Seventeen years ago I published my first blog post.  I had no idea what I was doing.  I quickly got the hang of it and blogging became my joyful and creative outlet to help remember all the beautiful thoughts and sights and happenings of my days.  When I say beautiful, I wasn't only recording the good things, but mostly I was, because no one wants to read about the garbage.  And as I continued to blog, I realized I had a small audience...mostly family which is what I wanted--a way to share our days with those I love in a different manner than a phone call--we didn't have FaceTime then!  Eventually a handful of friends were following along and even a few strangers.  I don't think that I ever reached a place of embellishing or advertising or trying to become popular, but it was kind of exciting thinking that people were interested in our lives.  I guess it's not much different than social media.  The true reason though for my blog posts were to chronicle memories...for me.  For my family.  I had my posts printed in hardbound books and we have enjoyed flipping through pages reminiscing often.  Then...something changed.  The software changed.  Uploading photos was different.  Music couldn't be added.  Storing my photos in another system that changed made finding photos to use difficult.  I used to watermark my photos feeling like it was a layer of protection somehow.  I didn't have the time needed to figure out the changes to efficiently create my posts and I got behind, and then even more behind.  It's really hard to catch up on years of milestones.  My resolution for this year was to return and start with the present day, not try to retro-blog!  It isn't going so well!!!

But today, I have an unusual circumstance that is offering me a chance to just do it.  I'll start here...with something that is on our current plate, takes up our current time, is the object and focus of many hours.

This is a picture of Joe around the time of his first birthday...almost 17 years ago.  Back then, my days were busy in a much different way than today.  I remember trying to do preschool with Jon and Mattie at home when Joe and Ben were so little, and the busiest part of my day outside of the house was picking up kids from school--maybe we were doing some extra curricular activities--I guess I would have to go back and read up on what life was doing!  

Today, as February is rolling by already, we are in full swing of one last wrestling season.  One last senior boy.  I'm surprised a little how emotional this is.  I'm not surprised that I'm emotional, just that this feels different.  I've never been this close the the end of something in this same way.  At the end of someone's senior year, there has always been someone else that will be a senior soon.  It is happy and sad and exciting and frightening all at the same time, but so far hasn't been final.  It still isn't, because we're not at THAT end yet.  But I am experiencing the final football season.  The final wrestling season.  The final boy.  There will still be enough busyness with all that 3 girls at home and with all of the kids within their lives, but this particular season that has been part of my world for the last 17+ years is nearing an end.  

I remember about 15 years ago being part of a women's prayer group and discussing the busyness of our lives and lamenting that I couldn't figure out how to find time to join an activity because of our sports schedule...mostly baseball in those years...and the matter-of-fact solution from one of the other moms was to pull our kids from the sports schedules to make room to do this other particular activity.  At that moment I realized that our busyness with youth sports wasn't one of setting the kids up to be super-star athletes, but being part of something that was teaching them important life skills, offering them an opportunity to do things they really enjoy and providing something that we ended up participating in as a family.  When we went to baseball tournaments, we all loaded up, packed our coolers of sandwiches in the wagon, our chairs and shade umbrellas, activity books, camera, changes of clothing, water bottles, sunscreen..all the stuff to get us through a day...oh yeah...concession money too.  It was a family adventure no matter which kid was competing.  I realized that we were doing what we loved, and I loved that more than I think I would have loved not doing it to make room for something else.  

Joe has been wrestling since he was probably 8 years old...maybe younger.  Since Jakob and Josh were in high school and introduced our family to wrestling when they tried it for the first time in their own lives.  

I have to say that I was not immediately a fan of wrestling.  Not really one single part of it.  I didn't understand it, I didn't like that it looked like my son was getting beat up and was going to get hurt.  I thought it was pretty weird to see these boys in singlets.  

It didn't take very long to catch on.  I still don't think I know exactly what all of the different moves and positions are, but at least I know how scoring works and when a position looks like it will be favorable or not for my wrestler.  I can be a great fan, but coaching or having a conversation about match specifics is probably not something I should try to fake!  

It also didn't take long to completely admire and be impressed by the sheer strength that is involved.  The time on the mat may be short, but the effort expended is nothing but great.  

There have been lots of hours spent in a gym...not just for wrestling, but a lot for wrestling.  Between the older boys wrestling in high school and the little boys wrestling in club, we've gotten pretty good at spending the day in the bleachers.  

Wrestling is a sport that I think is so good for so many reasons.  Individual competitor, team player.   Constant learning technical aspects.  Mental toughness, because when a wrestler gets beat, there is almost nothing  that is someone else's fault.  Losing is going to happen and a wrestler learns how to lose.  There were a lot of teary little boys on the mats, and the ones who came back the next meet and didn't throw in the towel, learned a little more each time.  In youth wrestling, there was usually a good year and a hard year.  The good year when they were at the top of the age bracket and a hard year when they were at the bottom wrestling kids that were a year older.  I dont remember Ben or Joe doing much crying, but they definitely liked it less when they lost.  Sometimes they lost every single match.  

Joe won the district tournament at 182 lbs his freshman year, sending him to the state tournament along with 8 of his teammates that year, including his brother.  Ben competed at 195 lbs.  Both boys were strong wrestlers.  Both wrestled well at the state tournament.  Both had an unfortunate match with injury giving their opponents a little extra edge.  It was a great experience for all of us.  The next year, Joe wrestled successfully all year long but lost a crucial match at districts that eliminated the possibility of another state tournament appearance.  That lost was pivotal.  He was determined not to repeat a loss like that again and set to work in the off season to get better.  Hard work.  More hard work.  Junior year he had to make the decision to wrestler at 175 lbs or 215 lbs.  The lower weight won out.  After suffering a season-halting injury in football early in the season, he started into his journey of dropping 25 lbs over a three month period.  Discipline.  Such impressive discipline.  Making healthy choices to create a calorie deficit while taking in as many nutrients as possible.  

I'm the kind of mom that jumps in full force to support my kids goals.  I must qualify that I'm always willing to support their goals, but when they are convicted, willing to put in the work, especially when it isn't easy, I'm all in.  I meal prepped, set early morning alarms just to quietly make sure he didn't accidentally oversleep, pulled out all the PT tricks I could think of to help reduce injury or restore function.  I prayed a lot, juiced turmeric and ginger, laid out the necessary vitamins and supplements to keep his body healthy.  All of his efforts culminated in upsetting the top ranked wrestler in his bracket, setting up a rematch of an early season intense bout and the first state champion for Pius in over 10 years. 

It was intense and electric and so incredibly exciting.  We were all so proud of him.  There was a lot of praying going on in the stands between all of us.  Each of his brothers reminded him to give all the glory to God.  

Update:  November 2025:  I knew in May that I was navigating new territory since our last boy was graduating.  To date, I had really been able to be sad temporarily because a kid was moving on to something new and we still had another one coming up through the ranks.  We still do, but it's a little different this time because we've reached the end of an era with boys.  I didn't think it was going to be as hard as it is to watch a high school football game or a wrestling match.  It.  Is.  Hard.  Maybe harder since no one is currently competing at a college level.  All the what-ifs.  The could-have-beens.  Watching a good friends college wrestling match or the State Championship football game and wondering what if we were there cheering on our kid?  He could have...all of them could have.  It's so hard.  I always knew I loved watching them compete, but I really miss watching them compete.  

Joe wore #22 just like his four older brothers did.  

There are still a lot of years left of watching competitions.  It's just different.  All girls now.  Until it's boys again.  I was just cleaning out closets and storage areas and kept switching the piles from donate to keep because I can't help think how neat it would be for Benedict or Leo to wear their dad's or uncles vintage warm up for something.  Track, basketball, football, wrestling...That's a long time away and yet probably will arrive before it feels like we've blinked.  We are so proud of each one of our kids.  The accomplishments they've each earned.  The successes they've all had.  It's hard work.  It's short-lived and unimportant in the whole scheme of things.  It's so fun in the moment though.  We're so invested in them and we wouldn't do it differently.  I'm going to miss this moment.  There are so many other moments ahead though and we will be right there.  Experiencing every one of them.  This season is done.  I'm sure I will feel the same again and again as another season comes to an end.