I Do

June 27, 2020

I Do

I sit before my computer with the either exciting or daunting task of publishing several blog posts that have been sitting as drafts for much longer than I care to admit. For reasons that very likely are an entire separate post in themselves, I have struggled to find or make the time to nurture my beloved blog. I've contemplated back dating these particular "draft-in-waiting" posts so that they would be chronologically correct, but then I decided not to so that I could add a little bit of my perspective "from the future".

It has been nearly two years ago since we sat in a partially paralyzed state of wedding planning. The eager participants of this sacrament weren't high maintenance from the get go, so all of the planning up to March 2020 seemed smooth and stress-free. But...as the country was shutting down and everyone was sheltering in place and we didn't have a clue what the next day/week/month would look like much less what June 27 would be, wedding invitations lay in a pile ready to be mailed, confirmations for venues and honeymoon plans, etc were due and suits and dresses had all been ordered. What to do but wait and reevaluate each new day.

April came and there was talk of moving the date to April since it looked like the celebration that had been planned would likely not happen. It was becoming a normal thing for couples to postpone until the next year, but waiting wasn't a desired option at all. The problem with April was that the 10-person-in-a-space limit would be taken up by the priest, parents, couple and one attendant each with one spot left. What a predicament! After some consideration, the original date remained the plan.

It was clear that we were not going to be able to execute the original plan that we started with. Original invitations were mailed with inserts explaining that Jakob and Ellie would be married on June 27, but without their desired guests in attendance and that in June of 2021 we would celebrate. As the days unfolded and progress toward normal continued slowly, we devised a plan to allow the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, ceremony and reception to happen in an incredibly reduced capacity. As that plan continued to unfurl, the excitement began to build. We would be able to have our immediate family members, wedding party and grandparents, aunts and uncles in attendance if they desired. We would be able to have a photographer and musician. We would be able to put together a reception at a private location. A good friend would create the meal and we devised a way to include our closest friends to be able to be there by being the wait staff and bartenders. Everything down to the smallest detail was planned for including decorations and flowers, real and disposable dishes, EVERYTHING we needed to pull off an incredible wedding event within the current pandemic restrictions--and when I say within, I really mean it, but I will admit we took full advantage of every single liberty or exclusion or exception that we could find!

AND THEN...on June 10th, the city of Lincoln-county of Lancaster "opened back up". This meant that the mask mandate was dropped. Restaurants and bars and venues could be open. Church services could happen at larger capacities. There were still some restrictions, but it felt like we all got out of jail or something and after several difficult discussions among bride, groom and parents, we all jumped on board of putting everything back together as originally planned, with the exception of a still reduced invitation to the wedding ceremony. I say difficult, because everyone was working hard to consider all of the angles and feelings and we had already invited-uninvited-reinvited and modify-invited to this event! Still, the lack of stress that we encountered was almost unreal.

I wish I could provide the uber organized notebook I kept with all of the details, but I didn't have one. I don't mean to pretend that none of the multi-level planning for plan A, B, C, D-1, D-2, etc wasn't a little ridiculous and consuming, but there were really no freak-out moments by anyone. In the end, we celebrated with incredible joy, something that we would have celebrated even if it was less than 10 of us. It truly couldn't have been better. We missed family who couldn't make it after the on again-off again scenario and missed friends who ended up in untimely quarantine. Almost two years later and we are just finally starting to again return to normal after more pandemic mandates and restrictions resurfaced. Our window was fortunate and we squeezed out every drop of enjoyment that we could.

We were without several of our originally planned guests due to the constant change of plans. We still had our core though!

Twenty five years ago, Tim and I said "I do". It was fabulous. Lots of family and friends celebrating our wedding day and all of the befores and afters with us. Lots of emotion. Lots of memories made...and even a meeting that turned into another wedding celebration! I remember much of it like it was only a few years ago. I'm sure I've forgotten the important details, like how stressed out I was about the height difference between bridesmaids and groomsmen or how many kegs of beer to have at the reception...maybe what to register for. I remember getting pulled over for speeding as my bestie Nancy and I were driving to Scottsbluff from Omaha days before the wedding and my dad auctioned off my garter at the reception to pay for the ticket. I remember crying the morning of the wedding when I realized that I wouldn't ever be able to come back home just whenever I wanted to by myself. I remember my mom saying to me that it wasn't too late, but I assured her I was just nervous. After all this was the day of my wedding...I was going to marry the man that I loved and start our life together. It was what I wanted. There were just lots of things I hadn't thought about...like would I even ever get to have time to myself? What if we hated actually living with each other? Could I go to bed before him if I were tired and he wasn't? Silly silly thoughts, but they were legit concerns during my anxious moments of anticipating our wedding.

If I could make a list of things I learned to offer to other brides-to-be, it would be short, but over the years always consistent: 1. The only thing that matters about the day is that the bride and groom show up. The rest is all extra. 2. No one really remembers decorations, flowers, songs, cake or invitations. That's not entirely true I guess. My brother was 13 when we got married and he remembers a lot more than I do. I had to ask him what song Tim and I danced to. Our wedding impacted him in a very memorable way. And, I suppose people occasionally remember those things, but mostly if they're really bad instead of really good. 3. Do what you want to do, even if it isn't the proper "bridal party/wedding etiquette. I opted my 13 year old brother out of our wedding party because he was 13 and I wasn't sure how to match him up with a 22 year old bridesmaid and I have always regretted it. Dumb. 4. Take lots of pictures and prior to that, communicate verbally, on paper, with a witness, etc. to make sure everyone is on the same page. 5. More money spent does not equal a more beautiful or fun wedding. Seriously, I don't really understand the concept of Bridzilla. There is just nothing worth stressing out that much about if the desired end result is that you're married. So...with all of that advice, I turn to focus on now being the mother of the groom...

And lucky me...I got a pretty sweet deal with a very laid back bride-to-be! Seriously, I'm not sure what kind of bride is cut out to make it through COVID, but this one rocked it! This wedding was put together, invitations ready to send and then--quarantine! So they sat on invitations as long as possible and then finally sent them out with a revision of "immediate family only". Reception to follow in 2021. Plans were changed, we scrambled to put together the next version of the wedding which meant friends coming together to host a small rehearsal, modified reception with borrowed everything, friends bar-tending and cooking and baking and D.J'ing, decorating and serving. It was honestly kind of exciting to put something together that would be raw and simple and beautiful. Between our families, the guest list was still pretty big, but it was all a go still.

Then three weeks prior to their date, our city opened back up regarding virus restrictions, allowing gatherings and church presence and eating and drinking, so we did the logical thing and put the entire wedding back together. "You're un-univited!" Modified slightly as we really had such little time. The flowers were put together by relatives and friends, decorations were adapted to fit a bigger space again, the cake was home-made by the sister of the groom, the rehearsal on a patio, and we all held our breath for two weeks following, praying that there were no cases of Covid. (None!!)

I'm positive it was perfect. Maybe those around me helping pull it all together had a different perspective, but it truly was a magical weekend, filled with love and laughter and joy to beat all other moments.

Another of our dear friends provided his time and talent as a gift through by photographing the two days of celebrating. One more example of the amazing community that surrounds us.

We were still incomplete but embraced the family that we were fortunate to celebrate with!

Begin wedding day:

The getting ready process was unreal. Truly a beautiful day from start to finish, complete with brunch and hair and makeup compliments of a dear friend who offered her home, her family, her talents and her love! The girls were treated to a beautiful brunch and the boys did boy things. Like get up, shower and find their clothes.

Can't believe this first-born of mine is beginning a whole other life.

Also can't believe I have all of these adult and adult-looking children that shared in this marvelous event!

Where does the time go?

I can't even begin to describe the gratitude I experienced when it came to friends making things happen for us. While Lincoln had opened back up, we still didn't really have the option of going to a salon for hair and makeup, so my dear friend Lindsay opened up her home and created a morning that one only reads about in someone else's life. She and her family created the most beautiful wedding morning brunch and welcomed the entire bridal party into their home with hair and makeup stations filling the dining room. Lindsay and her girls in addition to another friend of Ellie's family brushed and curled and sprayed and teased and embellished.

I will never forget the beauty and kindness of this family and hope that someday I have the same kind of opportunity to do something so incredibly meaningful like this for someone.

I will never forget or minimize the gift of this day. Or the generosity of the friends that surround us. Covid provided us with the unique opportunity to change things up and think outside of the box.

Have you ever seen such a beautiful spread? I can't even say enough. I am humbled every time I am reminded of the outpouring of love from my friends to make this one of the most special days ever.

Be Still My Heart...the men in my life.

**As I look back at these photos I am even more grateful for the gift of family that celebrated with us. This was the last family celebration that Tim's mom was here for and despite all of the unknown and scary parts of the virus that was front and center, she chose not to miss this. We miss her every day and are so happy to remember that she was so happy to be with us that day.

We felt beyond blessed to have family and close friends be able to be with us for the wedding ceremony. Spread out, without masks, free to smile and laugh and cry .

This picture is extra special as it is such a real expression of the bond between these two.

Is she not soooo pretty?? Of course! And she is such a perfect fit to our family. My entire being swells every time I think about the fact that SHE is the one who we have prayed for Jakob's entire life.

Their chauffeur was Uncle Cash.

Not sure that anyone missed wearing masks or was worried about being closer than six feet from each other. We were so happy to have been able to celebrate with so many family and friends. This was truly the best day ever. We held our breath (sort of) for two weeks after, but to our knowledge, no one became ill or tested positive. What a wonderful way to celebrate!

Family cake...Jakob's sister made the cake and Ellie's sister made the topper. I can't even tell you how many thousands of dollars we didn't spend because of the talent of our family and friends.