My Corona

I have been humming the tune of "My Sharona" for some ridiculous unknown reason.  I don't even know the lyrics except "my, my, my my Sharona".  It's actually because I was trying to think of something clever to title this post and I guess it rhymes with Corona.  As I sit and type, I've been contemplating sitting and typing for almost three weeks.  In March the threat of COVID-19 became more real in the US, but at that point in our own community, it still seemed a distant concern, kind of like all of those things that are horrible when you hear about how they're affecting other people but it always "other people".  The first week of March in Lincoln, the kids all went off to school, Pius girls played (and won) the Nebraska State Basketball Championships for Class A...our world revolved while crisis was happening elsewhere.

One of the messages that made things seem really real about this pandemic...and then it really got real just days later.

The next week began with a more threatening message looming...one that warned of stocking up on Clorox wipes and toilet paper as well as canned and frozen foods.  I was reading into it like we were preparing for a massive winter blizzard that may become challenging to get out of our homes to make it to the store.  There was still a large element of disbelief, lack of understanding and denial.  As we navigated through the week, rumors of school closures and businesses cutting hours and lifestyles about to change seemed to get heavier and heavier in daily conversation.  Colleges were beginning to consider extending spring breaks and even closing for the remainder of the year and there was even speculation of cancellation of collegiate sports.  Something big was happening and it was quickly becoming more and more real, but still far away.  The boys state basketball tournament was reduced to immediate family members only and still we all looked ahead and wondered if more drastic measures would really follow.  The tournament drew national attention on ESPN due to the lack of anything else happening in the country.  College sports were officially cancelled for the current and upcoming seasons bringing an abrupt end to sports careers across the country.  School was officially put into a suspended mode with the future schedule to be determined.  In the weeks to come, the cancellations would continue.  Every day something new would close, be postponed, cancelled, changed, due to COVID-19.  All the while, not one single case in Lincoln, NE.  No one really knew how to respond.  Vacation?  Should we get movie tickets?  Plan a trip to the zoo?  Maybe a short hotel stay so we could go swimming and eat out?  Josh was able to stay an extra week.  At that point we really had no idea what was ahead of us.  It was all still "novel".  Which is sort of funny considering that it is called the "novel" Corona virus.  Six feet apart...that was the recommendation.  That everyone stay six feet away from the next person.  No gatherings over 250, then 50, 25 and finally no more than 10.  The recommendation became an order when the first case of "community spread" was found in Lincoln.  To date there are 12 cases confirmed which only means that 12 people that have symptoms, have sought testing and have been confirmed positive.  (As of today...one week after I started this post there are 39 cases and 1 death in our county).  There are hundreds that have been tested and are negative, hundreds that are waiting for results and probably thousands that haven't been tested or that don't have a single symptom or that have symptoms but it doesn't feel like more than a seasonal cold or allergies.  No one knows how to behave.  There is a daily struggle for balance between freaking out and blowing it off.

Esther's normal changed as much as anyones.  Having everyone home all day was as big a change for her as for everyone else.  She hears the word Coronavirus and recognizes it as a "bad word".

School at the dining table...without a shirt!

My attempt at creating a space to collect all the school things.

On March 13th, it was announced that school would not be in session for the next week.  During that week, the suspended schedule was extended and before the next week could really even get started the announcement came that this would last through the first of April...then later and later and finally today spring sports have officially been cancelled and classes will not resume.  Graduations are getting moved to late summer, contingency plans are being made for events that are already scheduled out later in case we are still under orders to practice social distancing.  For our family personally:  Ben made the baseball team.  They had a week of their official season.  Parent meeting, signups, expectations and then nothing.  Practices cancelled.  Hope preserved by planning for a late season.  Mattie started track practice.  Lifting, throwing, conditioning.  Setting goals for varsity meets.  Joe and Amelia's soccer practices had been added to the calendars along side freshman baseball games, highschool track meets and a handful of jr. high track meets as well as Ellie's outdoor track season schedule.  Jon's schedule was pending due to surgery on both shoulders.  Track would be limited to the post season if he was able to get back at all.  Josh was slated to graduate May 8th, planning to prepare a speech to give to those in attendance as the student body president.  Tim and I planned to attend, but it would be a quick trip as the calendar wouldn't fall silent in our absence.

School in the sitting room...with no shoes and feet on the furniture.

Jon's graduation party was planned for the same weekend of the actual commencement.  Our annual trip to Colorado was up in the air due to Ellie's plans to be competing at the National meet in NY and we were still trying to figure out if we could make that all work out to travel to watch, or if we would still plan for CO, or if we couldn't do either with the wedding approaching.  So many things to work through!!  As our lives were changing quickly we were still taste testing for the wedding reception menu and making sure bridesmaids dresses were ordered and all the boys were measured for their suits--Jon's especially since he wanted to wear his for prom in May.  Ellie's dress had arrived, final details and decisions were being made, showers were weeks away, tucked neatly into weekend windows that her track schedule would make way for.  Jon forged through the checklist for the college he committed to attend in the fall.  Joe planned his method for adding his name to the junior high track record board in the events that his siblings didn't already posses.  Willa (Willa's mom and dad) had just turned in the commitment paper for a summer gymnastics team and the signup geniuses were forming for concessions stand volunteers and taking gate for baseball games and bringing popsicles to the park for the last days of school in May.  We all had a plan, or multiple plans.  That's what we do.  That's what we know.  How to keep moving.  How to function at near maximum speeds.  How to master the art of looking organized enough to show up to one of the events that was accidentally booked on top of one or two others, sometimes lucky enough to be staggered out just to allow everything to happen with little overlap.  These days we find ourselves searching to remember what day it is because it doesn't really matter as no one has anywhere to go!

Jon, Josh and I did drive out to Eastern Wyoming to clear out Josh's dorm room and his bedroom at Grandma and Grandpa's house as well as bring beef back to Lincoln for their customers. They had just returned from Australia with original plans to deliver the beef, celebrate Millie's confirmation and  attend Ellie's bridal shower.  Instead, we greeted them from across the driveway and waved goodbye from a distance as we left.  It may have been the hardest thing that I've experienced so far with the quarantine.

The interstate was void of normal traffic.  We left Lincoln at 5 am so we could make the round trip in one day.  We returned at 9pm.   

This isn't the way he planned to leave EWC.  

A dorm room, bedroom and a freezer full of beef all loaded up, touched surfaces all wiped down and disinfected and social distancing approved goodbyes.

We celebrated the first Corona birthday.  I guess everyone else narrowly missed out.  The day was actually wonderful.  Breakfast in bed, but not too early...

Pizza for dinner...ordered online, delivered in a contactless manner which is all the rage these days.

Zoom birthday party.

I think that Amelia actually had more drive-by birthday greetings from neighbors and friends than she would have if we would have been able to have a party!

I've contemplated time and again what kinds of things I want to remember from this period of time.  I am reminded that every big change requires a transitionary period.  Years ago when I made the leap from full time PT to stay-at-home mom, I had grand plans of what my days would look like at home with my little people.  I would have time to bake, clean, decorate, teach, create.  I didn't realize at all that it would take me weeks, maybe even months to learn how to switch gears despite desperately wanting to.  It was hard.  Discouraging and deflating most days because reality was not playing out like my fantasy was written.  In retrospect it was and is a lack control and I'm still trying to remember daily that there are things that just aren't in my control.  Week 1 of Corona was spent kind of in a disbelief and daily muttering of "this is so dumb", but feeling a little like we were on a school break.

As things escalated and we tried to wrap our heads around another week of distance learning, I think we still maintained a disbelief that this was real.  By the time we have attended virtual mass for the third weekend and anticipate celebrating Holy Week and Easter in the same manner there is now a sickening reality that this is no longer temporary and we really need to get our poop in a group for this new normal.

The church is so empty, not different from any other time spent alone in an empty church, yet so different because  I know it won't be full any time soon.  

This is our replacement.  

Driveway confessions.  A dear priest friend pulled into our driveway and we (and some neighbors) took turn sitting  outside his car window as he offered the sacrament of confession.  

I've spent each evening scouring the local news stations online for updates on how our community is affected.  Today it almost seems pointless.  I have no desire to hear how the rest of the world is managing because I can't take the mental anguish of reading about it.  Some days I can only manage to live in my little world where our family that exceeds the government directives for maximum numbers of gathering.  In all honesty if we needed to make room for Jakob to move back in and find an additional space for Ellie so that we could officially all reside in one location we would do it in a heartbeat.  It is maddening to wonder what the right decisions are every day.  Can the kids play in the driveway with the neighbor kids?  How about a bon fire with three highschool friends in the back yard?  College aged kids hanging out on the patio smoking cigars?  They're six feet apart and there are only 4 of them, so it should be fine right?  Did I wipe everything down?  Oh crap, I forgot to wipe off the beer can I drank from.  What if I have COVID-19 and I'm asymptotic?  We are doing our best to follow all of the rules.  Visiting the grocery store as needed and, well, pretty much nothing else that I can think of.  If someone was walking by our backyard fence, we would be in danger of being turned into the authorities for violating the social distancing order as I'm sure it sounds like quite the party going on around our fire pit, but rest assured, we are not in violation.

One day we are mourning the loss of milestones and the next we are relishing in the opportunities to slow down.  We are fortunate in the fact that Tim still has a job to go to in the basement of our home, but shaken by financial decisions of pay cuts to make ends meet in the firm.  There are moments that I  am selfishly saddened because of lost ability to do things we had planned on...remodel jobs, donations, saving for a big family vacation...and then I'm quickly brought back to reality where I am just thankful that we can pay our mortgage and buy groceries, at least for now.  There are so many things to think about right now...most of them I have no desire to process.

I know it may seem silly to do these things since the entire community is not gathering to celebrate, but it made so much sense that it should be done. Our family collectively worked with a few others to rake leaves, clean out flower beds and spread new mulch.  It was fun to be able to work together.  It's a job that typically sees big numbers of volunteers.  We were able to provide 16 hands that could work closely without being in violation of the distancing rules.  In normal times, this day would have contained a baseball game, two track meets, a wedding shower, an out-of-town job and a wedding.  Instead we had time to volunteer together.  

The easiest thing to do would be to subscribe to Netflix and binge watch all our shows.  This morning during Palm Sunday "service" we were reminded that this is the pinnacle of the year.  Holy week is such an opportunity to grow closer to Jesus.  And during this time, how perfect it is to sacrifice and observe hardships.  There honestly wouldn't have been a better time to experience the Coronavirus.  We haven't done an exemplary job.  We pretty much gave into our Lenten sacrifices when the inconvenience of the times reared it's ugly head.

Moving palms into the sanctuary for Palm Sunday and Holy Week/Easter.

Some days I think that if I see a milk truck delivering glass bottles of milk and people waving and riding bikes I will flip out because it will be the alternate universe of Pleasantville.  We may already be there.  It is surreal that now that we can't go to daily Mass and receive the Eucharist that is is deeply desired.  That's  how it works though...it is easy to want all that we can't have.

So what ARE we doing?  We are actually doing a pretty good job living together ALL DAY LONG.  It is easier to miss out on things knowing that everyone else is missing out on them too.  I've read that it is a good idea to develop a consistent schedule for everyone.  We still haven't done that.  Or maybe we have and what it looks like is everyone waking up at a staggered pace...from 15 minutes after I get up until about 2 pm.  That's right...after lunch.  The response is that said late riser has really been AWAKE for hours doing schoolwork.  I don't buy it, but it doesn't really matter because everyone is getting things done, the house is standing and we're all eating dinner together.  WIN.  Now, the challenging part is when personalities clash or get too loud, or when whining happens.  Tim has been camped out in the basement with no windows and three computer monitors.  He paces or walks on the treadmill while on calls.  This week as he's grown weary of the dark dungeon, he has made his way upstairs, bouncing from room to room, dodging the rest of the home dwellers in their make-shift work spaces.

The routine is evolving.  Personally, I'm tired of not setting my alarm.  I haven't slept past 8 anyway...most days I'm out of bed by 7, but I'm sure if I set my alarm I would hit snooze and sleep until 9.  It wouldn't matter.  I don't really even know what day of the week it is, because it doesn't matter.

Ben has a new learner's permit and has been taking advantage of extra time for driving lessons.  This particular one was less about driving as we only made it three blocks from home and a tire blew.  As our good luck would have it, our neighbors were out walking their dog and stopped to provide Ben with a hand's on lesson on changing a tire.  Love our neighbors!

Mattie and Millie had planned a bridal shower for Ellie that we were motivated to keep on the calendar.  New modified invitations in the form of an envelope containing a Pampered Chef catalog, a bar of chocolate and instructions on how to join a Zoom Video wedding shower were mailed or delivered.  We practiced an Andreasen rendition of a Zoom meeting for Millie's birthday and were reminded that our family is very loud and chaotic, so we set up the shower to accommodate the environment.  I think it was successful!

Wedding shower gift from Grandma S...to keep them warm under the stars.  She has made many stunning quilts, all meticulously planned, pieced and stitched together.  It is special when it is made especially for an intended gift such as this.  

Hands-on learning a new recipe with fun kitchen tools.  Jakob grew up with Pampered Chef in the kitchen and was eager to introduce Ellie to it.

Our virtual guests.

The shower was a success and we modified it to include Jakob, Tim and Ellie's dad Tom.  There were nine of us present, so once more we felt accomplished having pulled something off within the restriction guidelines.  

Visiting with their guests after the shower.

 We've relished the opportunities to fill our table daily.  It is one of my favorite things.

 Lots of groceries required to keep everyone fed when they're all home for every meal and snack!

Maybe not appropriate snow attire.

The weather has been everywhere from freezing with snow to 88º in the past month.  We have played and worked outside in all of it!

Virtual orthodontist appointment.  Braces were supposed to come off April 1.  

Lot's of FaceTime calls with friends

Josh and I built an Adirondack chair.

We've gone through boxes and boxes of sidewalk chalk.

We may or may not have gone through bottles and boxes of beverages.  :)

Most fun when consumed in a driveway--six feet apart.  

Driveway parties of less than 10 are becoming more popular.

Cards, music, games, puzzles...lots of them.

Our fire pit has been used more in three weeks than three years!

umm...could be accurate??

Gymless workouts...necessary due to the above reference.  :)

Praying daily for health, restoration, safety and in thanksgiving for family.  This is hopefully a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and we hope to find all the silver linings that we can.

I'll continue to write and document.  My desire is at least weekly even though much of it may look the same.  We have been informed that the peak of all of this in Nebraska is projected  for the end of April/1st of May and the restrictions are in place until May 31.  We're all holding out hope that June brings back a bit of our prior normal.  In the meantime we are adapting daily, learning, watching things grow and change and creating Corona memories.